Pants Pants Pants Pants Pants

Pants Pants Pants Pants Pants

Sunday August 6, 2006

Well, it has started. The Pants are LOOSE! In fact, two pairs are now IN THE GARBAGE!

On my regular walks (Doctor C loves us to get exercise!), I had an unusual occurrence. I had to KEEP HIKING UP MY SHORTS. Simple denim shorts. I've not worn a belt on these in two years, as I was pretty much sausaged into them. But every few hundred feet I had to grab them and hike them back up. It was a weird feeling.

While I've lived in my neighborhood for five years and done a number of walks, I would guesstimate that the number of walks I've taken in the last four weeks equals the number I had taken in the previous four years. I've met and talked to quite a number of folks that I never would have even met before.

Well, as I am now a "regular" walker, these folks are noticing that I AM SHRINKING. It seems as though my butt and legs are the areas of the last week, Mr. Belly is still there (but a bit smaller!). I have gotten quite a few comments.  As my buddy BUBBA says, "It's all good baby!".

Well, back to the pants. Being a fat person there is not much more aggravating of an occurrence than tearing or wearing out a favorite piece of clothing that actually "fits". "Fits" to me means that I could still technically get into them. Comfort or style or the fact that the things were threadbare have absolutely no importance to a male who is just "happy" to be in something that "fits".

But the worst thing about having a piece of clothing wear out is having to go buy a replacement. Why, you ask? Because we are SCARED TO DEATH that we have to get a BIGGER SIZE. Over the last 6 years, I've gone from 42s (that you can find most anywhere) to 44s (rare, but usually you have to go the Big and Tall Department) to 46 to 46 that S T R E T C H and praying that I did not have to go to 48s when I should have been there a long time ago.

 

Well, as I was hiking up my now somewhat loose shorts, I decided to try an old nice pair that I had in the summer of 2004. They fit for about two weeks at the end of that year, and in 2005 they sat in my dresser MOCKING ME all year long. Mocked me a bit too this year I might add.

Well, THE THINGS FIT!  A TAD LOOSE EVEN. I HAD TO WEAR A BELT WITH THEM LAST NIGHT.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I evilly laughed at my one pair of really crappy torn denim shorts that I only rarely wear. Why? Because I now have a "NEW" pair  of "NICE" shorts. So, you know what I did- I TOSSED THE CRAPPY ONES. (of course, cutting off the buttons to save). It was like a ceremony. Cut off the buttons. Walk to the garbage can and say GOOD RIDDANCE! 

Damn, that felt good.

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For an encore, I went and pulled out a pair of nice long pants with a similar history. They are not quite there yet. I can get in them, but not comfortably. But soon.......... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA So, I went and took a crappy pair of long pants and as an incentive, killed them too. Damn that felt good. The not quite there ones, someday soon. Check your email!!

JC

PS, I'm gonna go for  a walk right now with my new nice pants. Damn, I'm gonna enjoy it.