My First Bike Ride

My First Bike Ride

 

Saturday August 26, 2006

 

Yes, the day has come that before I heard of the Lap Band, I never thought would come again.

 

I RODE MY BIKE TODAY!

 

This has been a goal of mine since Day One- Be Able to Ride My Bike Again and ENJOY IT!

 

Well, I rode for ONE HOUR, RODE 12 MILES. Doing the math, that would be...umm. carry the naught, devise by the numerator and move the decimal point......yup a whopping 12 MILES AN HOUR!

 

Yes, 12 MPH on the Miami White water Biketrail is actually a pretty pathetic speed, small kids with training wheels probably could have passed me, Rollerbladers DID pass me. BUT I DON'T CARE BECAUSE I AM NOW HEALTHY ENOUGH TO RIDE MY BIKE!!!!!

 

WOO HOO!!!!!

 

Now wearing bike clothes- spandex is usually NOT friendly to fat people and boy do I know that, I didn't look that great. I looked like a fat guy in spandex on a bike. But a year ago I was a REALLY FAT GUY SAUSAGED INTO BIKE CLOTHES that could barely ride a bike, and as a matter of fact soon could not ride a bike. So, again I DON'T CARE BECAUSE I AM NOW HEALTHY ENOUGH TO RIDE MY BIKE!!!!!  WOO HOO!!! BTW - my bike jersey was XXL not the XXXL that I used last year. That would be ONE LESS X for those of you scoring at home.

 

It was so nice to ride with friends I have not seen for a year. It was so nice to enjoy downhills. It was not so nice churning up the pathetic little bike trail uphills, but again- see that I don't care thing above.

 

I saw ducks, I saw bunny rabbits, I saw cute joggers in athletic wear, I saw even cuter roller bladers in even less athletic wear, I saw cute chicks with nice smiles (smiling at me!) in even more anatomically correct biker clothes.

 

Damn I am in a good mood.

 

My butt hurts. Again, see that I don't care thing.

 

I am pooped and need a nap. Again, see that I don't care thing.  

 

I did notice that DRINKING while riding is now a bit more difficult with the band. I'll have to figure that one out. While riding I use a CamelBack type system to have the water I need. I loaded it with ice and cold water as it is 90 degrees outside. There are times when riding that you are thirsty, but have to wait till a more appropriate time (read that as safer time) to drink, so when you can, you chug. Well, that didn't work. I felt like somebody sat on my chest after a big cold drink. 10 seconds later it was gone, but I felt RESTRICTION as I guess the band tightened up when all that cold water hit it. I guess this goes in my brain as part of the learning curve.

 

So, to repeat -

 

I RODE MY BIKE TODAY!

 

Damn I feel good.

Damn I'm tired.

I'm going for a nap now.

My butt hurts,

I am pooped and I don't care WOO HOO!

 

 

Lunch Boggles the Mind

Lunch Boggles the Mind 

 

 

I went out for lunch today at a sandwich shop I have been to many times.

Simple order- Tuna Melt on Whole Wheat Toast. Combo meal includes chips, a cookie and a drink (the non carbonated life for me-ice tea).

 

I've not done much bread yet, so I thought this a good learning curve meal. I have missed bread.

 

Over 20 minutes, I ate HALF the sandwich. JUST HALF. The last toasted part with the crust was a bit tough to swallow, but I was able to. This 1/2  of a sandwich pretty much filled me up and a bit of restriction was felt. About 10-20 minutes later I ate 1/3 of the cookie. I was FULL AS CAN BE.  I never touched the chips, the drink is for this afternoon at my desk.

 

I heard about this. Eat less, be full. Boggles the mind. This meal used to be a regular meal for me, and I usually bought TWO EXTRA cookies.

 

1/2 a sandwich

1/3 a cookie

 

FULL!

 

Truly amazing.

 

PS, guess what I'm having for dinner?  Yup leftover 1/2 a sandwich! hahahaha

 

51

51

The CROWD ROARED!

THE MEN CHEERED!

THE WOMEN FAINTED!

THE CHILDREN WAVED COLORFUL BANNERS!

 

51 pounds lost in 45 days!

 

A talk about Restriction

A talk about Restriction

Saturday August 19, 2006

I was banded on July 10th, and have become friends with a woman who was banded 1 hour after me. She had her first fill on August 14th, and I had mine on August 18th.

This is a conversation we had about feeling Restricted.

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JC - do you have any restriction?  I can eat and drink just like I could  pre-band.  Just wondering.

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I  have felt restriction a few times. Usually when I eat a sandwich too fast. I get light headed and feel stars in my eyes, then a "Bloop" kind of feeling and I can tell that whatever went on down. (By the was "sandwich" does not
mean bread, I have made meat and cheese and rolled it up, and sometimes use nothing, but sometimes use a tortilla- I've not had a real slice of bread yet)

I was starving last night around midnight when I came home from a concert near midnight. In the past I would have gone to Taco Bell or White Castle on the way home (and people wonder why I am still a bachelor?).

I knew I had some SF Jell-O at home, so I held out. Ate it, but a half hour later I was still starved. Then I had two pieces of string cheese with Peanut Butter on them. (Protein and calories- but I need protein) Still starving. I could not sleep, I was watching TV anyways. So I made a "Sandwich" out of a tortilla wrap and some Pimento Cheese - BAM! It weighed just two ounces, but I ate it in just a minute. BAM! Stars in my eyes, and RESTRICTION. Then BOOP, it went through. That was 2 AM.

 

I still have not eaten yet today (2PM) after having a protein shake for breakfast.

I am thinking of eliminating the soups I have been eating from my diet. The cream soups were great, and did help in the early stages, but unless I eat something solid, I am hungry again in a few hours. VERY HUNGRY. So, I still want to eat if it is a thin soup. I guess it just goes through the band and I'm still hungry. I do have some thick soups that friends made for me, and those keep me full for hours with just 6 or 8 ounces in a bowl.

I have added a lot of SALADs to my diet of late, and our dietician suggested adding sliced meat and cheese to the top for extra protein. Those have made me feel full and last quite a while (with the meat and cheese), whereas a plain all veggie salad and I am hungry in two hours.

Tomorrow I think I am going to try KFC for dinner. Chicken is supposed to be difficult for many, so I will try it and go very slow. 2 piece box, where I used to eat 4. We shall see how that goes.

 

I go back to the Dietician on Thursday and will get weighed again. Depending on the weight loss and how I feel and how restricted I feel, I will contact Dr. Curry to consider another fill in a week or a few weeks. Next weekend I get to RIDE MY BIKE AGAIN, so I know that I will not get a fill just before that. I want a few rides in me before I tweak anything in the Restriction/Band.  

JC

44

Friday August 11, 2006
32 Days after LapBand

44
Yup- 44 pounds down in 32 days. Simply amazing.

I made a loud " 44- WOO HOO" when I got off the scale and asked the new Deaconess chick if I could hug her. She thought I was insane.

All the folks in the waiting room lobby saw me dancing like an idiot. It would have been embarrassing to my self had I been in public, but dancing just seemed appropriate. Many hugs and high fives were had and a few "pre Band" folks were amazed. I got lots of questions from them and tried to answer them all and directed them to this blog.

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In other other news, I had my first fill today. As promised- NO PAIN. I asked Dr. C if he gave pain shots first and his response, was "No, it would be silly to give a shot for a shot. I use "FREEZE SPRAY". So, I laid back on the table and he made a "THUMP" and said "There's your port". Then he "SPRAYED" me. You smelled alcohol and felt a tad cold, then felt another "THUMP" and he said "There you go". Whole thing took just a minute. You have to drink 2 ounces of fluids safely before you can leave after a fill. I did that, and yes I felt some restriction.

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And in other news......NOW I AM FAMOUS. Folks from Johnson Ethicon were there and videotaped me getting filled. Apparently they are making their own "BAND" and needed a training film on how to fill. As it is going to help folks, I agreed. It will be a training video for doctors that use their new band. They had seen me dancing like an idiot so knew that I was talented. Also the Brunette Endicon chick had really nice long hair and a great smile. One might even say she was hot in her lovely suit. As a matter of fact, I would.

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Lastly, lest you forgot. 44 BABY!

Pants Pants Pants Pants Pants

Pants Pants Pants Pants Pants

Sunday August 6, 2006

Well, it has started. The Pants are LOOSE! In fact, two pairs are now IN THE GARBAGE!

On my regular walks (Doctor C loves us to get exercise!), I had an unusual occurrence. I had to KEEP HIKING UP MY SHORTS. Simple denim shorts. I've not worn a belt on these in two years, as I was pretty much sausaged into them. But every few hundred feet I had to grab them and hike them back up. It was a weird feeling.

While I've lived in my neighborhood for five years and done a number of walks, I would guesstimate that the number of walks I've taken in the last four weeks equals the number I had taken in the previous four years. I've met and talked to quite a number of folks that I never would have even met before.

Well, as I am now a "regular" walker, these folks are noticing that I AM SHRINKING. It seems as though my butt and legs are the areas of the last week, Mr. Belly is still there (but a bit smaller!). I have gotten quite a few comments.  As my buddy BUBBA says, "It's all good baby!".

Well, back to the pants. Being a fat person there is not much more aggravating of an occurrence than tearing or wearing out a favorite piece of clothing that actually "fits". "Fits" to me means that I could still technically get into them. Comfort or style or the fact that the things were threadbare have absolutely no importance to a male who is just "happy" to be in something that "fits".

But the worst thing about having a piece of clothing wear out is having to go buy a replacement. Why, you ask? Because we are SCARED TO DEATH that we have to get a BIGGER SIZE. Over the last 6 years, I've gone from 42s (that you can find most anywhere) to 44s (rare, but usually you have to go the Big and Tall Department) to 46 to 46 that S T R E T C H and praying that I did not have to go to 48s when I should have been there a long time ago.

 

Well, as I was hiking up my now somewhat loose shorts, I decided to try an old nice pair that I had in the summer of 2004. They fit for about two weeks at the end of that year, and in 2005 they sat in my dresser MOCKING ME all year long. Mocked me a bit too this year I might add.

Well, THE THINGS FIT!  A TAD LOOSE EVEN. I HAD TO WEAR A BELT WITH THEM LAST NIGHT.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I evilly laughed at my one pair of really crappy torn denim shorts that I only rarely wear. Why? Because I now have a "NEW" pair  of "NICE" shorts. So, you know what I did- I TOSSED THE CRAPPY ONES. (of course, cutting off the buttons to save). It was like a ceremony. Cut off the buttons. Walk to the garbage can and say GOOD RIDDANCE! 

Damn, that felt good.

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For an encore, I went and pulled out a pair of nice long pants with a similar history. They are not quite there yet. I can get in them, but not comfortably. But soon.......... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA So, I went and took a crappy pair of long pants and as an incentive, killed them too. Damn that felt good. The not quite there ones, someday soon. Check your email!!

JC

PS, I'm gonna go for  a walk right now with my new nice pants. Damn, I'm gonna enjoy it.

 

 

The Actual Wedding Cake

 

Wedding Cake

Wedding Cake
Saturday July 29, 2006

Well, I went to my first wedding since being Banded on July 10th. It was also the first time my sisters and nieces and nephews had seen my new shrinking body. 7 year old niece Rachel said "Uncle John your face looks smaller". The family also noted that I could actually BUTTON my suit coat where when they last saw me at the first of June, the suit was about six inches away from being buttoned.

So, that was all good things.

Appetizers- two crackers- one with Pimento Cheese and one with Benedictine, and two or three cheese cubes. In the past that would have been 1/4 of the first of two or three plates.

Dinner- not much I could eat as I am still on "Soft foods". Luckily they had small white potatoes that I mashed with some butter. I brought a bag of flavored tuna (actually had it in my pocket during the reception and nobody noticed!)

But, later I had- Drumroll please-WEDDING CAKE. The wedding cake looked like Italian Cream Cake with nuts and coconut. So I went for the groom's cake, as it was pound cake with white icing and a caramel outside icing. Yum yum. I even had the Deaconess Dieticioness's approval, "OK- just one small piece, treat yourself." I took twenty minutes to eat what would have taken two in the past.



Amazing - 2 crackers, 5 ounces of tuna and 4 small potatoes and I was full. A SMALL piece of cake an hour later and I was full. That would have never kept me a year ago.

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Now, since this is my life, there has to be a TWIST TO THE STORY.

OK, being a guy, what is every guy's fantasy at a wedding- yup- Bridesmaids.

Since the bride is 28, all her bridesmaids are plus or minus 5 years. A 43 year old can be with a 33 year old, but not a 23 year old without being thought an old pervert. Let alone the really beautiful brunette 22 year old cousin of the bride who did not make the bridesmaid cut.

But, I digress.

As we left the first floor where the appetizers were and get on the elevator to go to the dinner floor, I am 'caught' not by a bridesmaid. But by the drunken MOTHER of a bridesmaid. She proceeds to tell me in the way that only Louisville women can- southern accent at 100 mph- how her daughter has had a crush on me for years since I took my "daughter" to the bride's graduation party ten years ago and how her daughter even lived in Northern Kentucky a few years ago and wanted to call me but was afraid to be the stepmother of a daughter. (Again, put that in one sentence with no pauses and say it in less than 4 seconds).

My response is of course - a stunned "HUH", followed by "Daughter? Are you sure you have the right guy, to my knowledge, I don't have any offspring."

The drunken mother of the best woman then CORRECTS ME. "NO- YOU DO HAVE A DAUGHTER- YOU BROUGHT HER TO THE FARM AND WENT SWIMMING, TAUGHT HER TO FISH AND THEN WENT BOATING WITH HER. YOU WERE A GREAT DAD ALL DAY LONG. YOU EVEN MADE HER EAT DINNER AND SAY THANK YOU." (Please note all caps, as she was LOUDLY CORRECTING ME in the small elevator full of people on my forgetting that I have a daughter.) After several floors of being corrected, I note that I have been to a number of parties at the bride's grandparent's farm and can think that I MIGHT have brought my now 21 year old niece when she was younger.

"NIECE" she said. YOU MEAN MY DAUGHTER COULD HAVE GONE OUT WITH YOU?

Again I am still confused, as I'm still not certain which one is her daughter. As the elevator opens she calls to Sarah- SARAH, COME SAY HELLO TO JOHN. Sarah is the Best Woman- who turns now a 28 year old 6 foot tall beautiful blonde with a smile to die for.

So, at this point I am getting a 100 MPH Southern accented talk from one of the prettiest girls in Louisville. My head is spinning. I then notice HER RING. I ask her where her husband is. Of course, not being with his beautiful fun outgoing wife, but next to the OPEN BAR with 12 other drunk husbands of wedding guests.

Finally we must say farewell, as the bridal entrance is going to happen. At that point the drunken mother then comes over AGAIN, and tells me how she wishes I were her son in law instead of the drunk at the bar.


Amazing. Only could happen to me.