Blog YES, emails NO.

Blog YES, emails NO.

 

In other news, I won't be sending any more emails out with JC updates. I started sending emails to a list that I was given when a few folks said they wanted to hear about the journey. Then a few asked to be deleted from the list, then a few more. So, I'll just be putting stuff on this blog.

 

72 pounds in 100 days was quite a success, and the folks that have not done as well ......well, they don't really want to hear any good news. Which I should have understood before. A few were even "happy" to hear that I was stuck at 307 and 303 for nearly a month.

 

You live, you learn.

 

The night of the pathetic psychologist visit to the support group at Deaconess was quite an eye opener for me. That evening two ladies asked to be removed from the email list I had. One of the two was extremely unhappy at hearing of my success. That was not a reaction I expected.

 

This pathetic psychologist and the reactions to him gave me much to think about. New thoughts Actually quite scary thoughts.

    What will my life be like when this journey is done?

    A new journey?

    A continued struggle?

    A continued set of fears of getting fat again?

    If I ever get to 240 and then go to 245, am I a failure?

    Will that 245 become 345 again? 

Lots of things to think about that I never thought about before. And that pathetic psychologist did us no favors with his tap dance routine. I still have a few sleepless nights with those thoughts going through my head. I knew I was not happy where I was. My thoughts of "Will I Get to 240?" have changed to "Will I be happy when I get to where I think I want to be?" We shall see.

 

So, keep checking here. 

 

I'm still writing for my own memories. There may be some pondering going on there in the future.  I guess my inner monologue will be written!

 

But again thanks to all the folks that I used to email with, for all your help in getting me this far. I know I've got more life to live and enjoy, and I might just have the opportunity now that I am healthier to actually live and enjoy that life.

 

Thankyaverymuch

 

JC